In It For Health

Where health and psychology intersect

Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Cyber-snooping on your partner–yes or no?

Posted by Dr. Susan on October 1, 2009

The internet can be used for many things, including snooping on your partner if you think they may be cheating on you. But what if they find out you’re snooping and they’re not cheating?

This article in The NY Daily News, gives you the pros and cons to snooping (check out my viewpoint in the article on this timely topic!)

The truth is, that if you are questioning the trust in your relationship, talking to your partner is much healthier than snooping. But if you think that snooping is the only way to pry honesty out of them (and you really, really want to know the truth!), then brace yourself and start snooping. Just read the article and be forewarned of the possible consequences!

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Breast cancer and marital stress…not a winning combo

Posted by Dr. Susan on December 12, 2008

This unsettling (although small) study finds that women in rocky marriages are more likely to have poorer outcomes–slower recovery, more symptoms, etc–than those in good marriages. This seemed to be true, even when the stage of cancer was taken into account.

It does make sense–there is a compelling correlation between stress and breast cancer, and certainly, marital problems are very stressful. In addition, physical and mental health are very closely connected. If you have been diagnosed with breast, or any other cancer and you believe that you are in a stressful relationship, it is important to seek professional assistance ASAP! Your health–even your life–may be counting on it.

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Spitzer:another politician who just destroyed his career…

Posted by Dr. Susan on March 12, 2008

…and his family. The two top questions I’ve been asked in the last couple of days–by friends, the media and my 14-year old son are WHY do men in power blow themselves up in this manner and WHY do their wives stand by their side–literally–when they admit their self-destruction to the world on national television? The first is more obvious–the power of the position makes them feel invincible. It’s a bit like adolescence really, but in a sociopathic, rather than developmental way. They can’t imagine anything could ever touch them, so they take greater and greater risks, feeding their sense of indestructibility, of narcissism, of power. Until eventually they’re caught red-handed, or in this case red-….uh, well you know.

The second question is more complex. Perhaps the wives are paid. Maybe Silda was offered 10 million dollars to stand up there next to her husband during his admission and resignation–straight into a personal account in her name. That might make it easier to swallow. I hope she was. Maybe they do it for the kids. But, really it would be better for kids to see their mother stand up for her own self respect, not next to a husband that betrayed her so publically. Perhaps the wives of politicians have become so used to standing in their husbands’ shadows that they do it automatically. Or, perhaps, like Hillary Clinton, they have a future agenda–she’s calling in her chits now! I’m sure each situation is different but in Spitzer’s case, I’m guessing this is not the first time he cheated on his wife and I’m imagining that it will take a lot of therapy to put this marriage back together again if that’s even in the cards. I hope that Silda Spitzer stands up to her husband rather than next to him over the next several years. She needs that for herself and her daughters need to see that too.

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