In It For Health

Where health and psychology intersect

Archive for May 9th, 2011

Parents are ok with underage Facebooking…what’s next

Posted by Dr. Susan on May 9, 2011

A study just out that finds that 17 percent of parents are just fine with their under-13 year old having a Facebook, even though Facebook says you need to be 13 to log on. Of course Facebook doesn’t really have a way to check the age of a user, so aside from those kids who have an undercover Facebook account, preteens have been given consent by their parents.

Most of the parents that I know who allow an underage Facebook  say that they are monitoring, getting their child’s password and otherwise checking for inappropriate online behavior.

They’re missing the point a bit…by allowing your child to lie about his or her age, you’re colluding with deceptive behavior to get around a system that has been set up to protect kids and make sure they behave appropriately given their developmental stage in life.

Let’s think about this a little more. Will you be okay when your child gets a fake ID to drink alcohol at fifteen?…not likely. Will you be okay when your child buys alcohol for a minor once he isn’t one anymore? Or when she cheats on a test in school because she didn’t get caught? Lying or cheating the system in order to do or get something you want right now, even though you should wait for it–or not have it at all–is the message you communicate when you allow your child to do get a Facebook younger than 13.  

Facebook has a reason for making it 13 and up. As a parent you should be supporting, not undermining this rule because it’s not only about Facebook, it’s about your child’s future.

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Online gaming is good for families…really?

Posted by Dr. Susan on May 9, 2011

This new study suggests that when families ‘game’ together, their relationships improve. Ok, I suppose that could be true. If you play online games with your kids, it’s definitely better than NOT playing online with them, and rather just leaving them to online game with total strangers.

But do you really think that parents are playing online games with their kids?? The answer is NO! Either the parents are gaming alone (I see this all the time) and the kids are nagging them to get off the computer to come and throw a ball outside, or the kids/teens are online and would be mortified if their mom or (more likely) dad joined in. And of course, this doesn’t even include all the time kids are online while parents are working, running the home or dealing with the other kids. So the chance that kids and parents are bonding online is…well…let’s just politely say…unlikely!

So, while this study is interesting in theory, it truly holds no really life application. So, instead of making it your goal to game online with your child, the better goal is found in the old and boring traditions…eat a meal together, chat while you’re driving somewhere, clean the car together (pay them if you have to!), or drag out a board game. You’d be surprised how many BIG kids love Apples to Apples!

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